The Journey of Healing

Everyone has experienced some level of brokenness in their lives. I can say that I personally experienced a lot of pain and heartache in life. But it was in my complete brokenness where God met me and changed me. He is now using my life to help bring restoration to the wounded. It is His nature to use the places of brokenness and turn it into something beautiful.

Part of my redemption story is to allow God to use my life to bring restoration to others. And sometimes I see this as something that will happen in the future, a long time from now. This is probably because it’s coming from the limited perspective that this will happen when we as a ministry have something established and more tangible. Our heart is to network with other anti-trafficking organizations and link arms. I recently had the opportunity with Ezekiel Rain to create some illustrations for the safe home where they are ministering to young adults. These young people came out of exploitative situations. The sketches are meant to help bring a visual to the process of restoration and the need to embrace the process.

This may seem like a small thing, especially since I’m still developing in art skills, but God is showing me that He is very intentional with those who belong to Him and every person matters to Him. I am beginning to understand that He uses those who are willing in unexpected ways and that when things are done in obedience, there will always be an impact on earth and in eternity.

The Process

When I was little I used to love looking at pictures and drawing what I saw. They never looked perfect enough so eventually I lost interest. It wasn’t until many years later, about four years ago to be exact, that I decided to start painting as a hobby. I lived in a beautiful compound in the Philippines and I found out that there was a painter in my compound who gave art lessons. I started going to his house on my days off to learn more about painting. I quickly found out that God was using that to deal with my perfectionism and the lack of patience. I wanted to know how to do everything right away but it took time. I learned so much from this art teacher, Fernando Kabigting, by hearing his story and passion for art. After a stroke many years ago, he had to learn how to use only his left hand and his right eye. He didn’t let his condition tell him that he couldn’t paint anymore. But I would say that the most important lesson I learned from him was that a painting is not done until the painter says it’s done. That lesson is a continual reminder of my journey with Christ. I am a masterpiece in the making. And even though I’m going through a process, I’m using art to bring life to others, particularly to my friends at the bar who are also in the process. I realized last Wednesday that the artwork I made for one of them was more than just a painting but that it came straight from the heart of God.  While I go through His process, I get to paint the things that are in His heart for others.

Close up of finished artwork done for a youth group talent night.

What Happened to Your Foot?

About a month and a half ago I fractured my left foot playing basketball with some of my team members. We had just started the great habit of waking up early to go to a nearby park to fellowship and exercise by playing basketball. I would like to say that I fractured my foot by making some awesome move where I scored and made my team win but it wasn’t at all like that. I just landed on someone’s foot and twisted my foot. The injury was minor and it was even hard to see the fracture on the x-ray. But the doctor said that if I wanted my foot to heal fast that I needed to use a flat high top shoe and not walk for about six weeks. I didn’t like the news especially the not walking part. My friend was able to let me borrow his crutches so that I could still get around the city. It was very humbling to be dependent on crutches and others. I also learned a few new words in Thai because most of the Thai people in my neighborhood would stop me to ask me what happened to my foot. It blessed my heart to see their genuine sincerity in their asking.

But one particular night I was having a rough time. Internally I was complaining that I still had to use the crutches and that I needed to go places by myself because my visiting friend had left. I was on my way to meet some of my teammates to go out to the bar area but I couldn’t find transportation so I just walked (with my crutches) and took mini breaks when I needed them. I got over it by the time I met with my team and started having a time of fellowship with our friends there. After that we went to a new area to pray and ask God what He has in mind for that area, specifically a restaurant/bar in that area. Just when we were walking past the entrance to leave that area I saw a woman approach me to say hello. It took me a few seconds to recognize her but I had met her at one of the bars in the different location. The second thing out of her mouth as she pointed to my foot was, “What happened?” I was so happy to see her and to talk with her for a few minutes that the revelation didn’t hit me until later that night. God gently reminded me that complaining is never a good thing because I don’t always know how He’s using the bad for good. I am almost positive that my old friend had the courage to approach me that night because of her genuine concern for my foot.

He Fulfills His Promises

Sometime before I left America to move from the Philippines to Thailand, God gave me a vision regarding the issue of human trafficking in Thailand. The vision was very abstract but full of meaning. I saw the aerial picture of the nation of Thailand and it was nighttime because I could see the lights flickering all over the nation. In this vision I was working alongside God to bring freedom to the captives enslaved in the issue of human trafficking. I was next to Him and I was focused on all the fruit coming forth as we co-labored in this endeavor. Our hands were moving in the air symbolizing the work we were both doing in the nation of Thailand. I told Him, “Daddy, look at all the women that are being impacted!” The joy I experienced was unexplainable. I knew that we were working together and that lives were being transformed. But what came out of His mouth in response to this floored me. He said, “I’m too busy looking at you!” I could feel His eyes of love penetrating the depths of my soul. This experience marked me for life. About a month ago I was honored to see two friends that I met at the bar give their lives to the Lord. All we did was to love them and honor them into the kingdom. It was completely effortless because it was in God’s heart to make them a part of His family. He always fulfills that which He promises. Above all the lives that will be impacted because of the things He’s called me to do in this nation, what I want most from Him is to continue to keep His eyes on me and mine on His. The posture and desire of my heart is to love Him above everything. I want it to be love that compels me to go into darkness.

His Love For Me

Being the only Latina in my Thailand team can sometimes make me feel homesick. Yes, I’m very much an American as well and sadly enough I’ve also been corrected with my Spanish from a fellow American teammate here! I’m very thankful that all my teammates like Mexican food. But sometimes it’s just fun to find people who enjoy the Tajin chili powder with everything, can speak Spanish with you and even watch an episode of El Chavo del Ocho (a popular Mexican T.V. show). I have learned to enjoy these things alone but in this season it pleased my Father to show His love for me by sending me new friends who speak Spanish! Three of the interns who are here to go through the Timothy Internship Program are a direct blessing from God for this Latina. There is also another Spanish speaking missionary who is here with her family that I’ll be connecting with soon. I’m already planning fun activities to do with my new friends. Even my smallest desires don’t go unnoticed by Him!

Learning to Love

God revealed a lot about my calling last year. He spoke to me about learning to love like He loves. While attending Harvest School 21, God used every opportunity to send that message straight to my heart. One of those moments came with a question from God. I was in class one hot morning in Pemba, Mozambique and Heidi Baker was teaching a session. Before she started teaching she thanked the students that were able to help decorate her backyard for a wedding that weekend. That quickly got my attention because I was helping with that wedding. I clearly remember that day because it was very hot and I was having a rough day so all I could think of was myself. I listened closely to her words as she began to say that it was worth all the sacrifice of stopping for the one and how much joy it brought her to see one of her own daughters walking down the aisle. And that’s when the question came. He said to me, “Would you love the one in front of you even if you don’t know their story?” I was convicted because often times I have more compassion for someone if I know where they came from or what they have gone through in life. I answered His question with a yes and asked for His help as I learn to love more like He loves. He has called me to a life of love, first with Him and then with others. In Africa He raised my standard of a comfortable and safe love to an uncomfortable love that will cost me everything.

The God Who Provides Anti-Malaria Pills

In about a month and a half I’ll be in Africa starting my adventure with Harvest School of Missions. I feel like a rubber band that’s stretched as far as it can be stretched. There are so many things to take care of. A few days ago I was feeling overwhelmed with the preparation process and other life changing events happening in my personal life. That day I whispered to God in my spirit, “God I’m needing an encouragement from you today!” By the end of the day I was exhausted but I made time to post a Facebook message on the Harvest School 21 group where my fellow classmates and staff post helpful information. A few days prior to this I found out that Thailand didn’t have the specific anti-malaria pills that I needed for my trip to Mozambique, Africa. So I had the idea of asking fellow classmates if they had extra anti-malaria pills that they could sell to me since I wasn’t able to buy them in Thailand. After a few minutes passed a classmate posted and said that she had extra pills for me because her pharmacist over prescribed the medication. She said, “Man’s mistakes are God’s preparation!” I was very blessed with the fact that God heard my heart’s cry and that He knew just how to encourage me. There is absolutely nothing my God cannot do!

If you feel led to partner with me financially for this exciting adventure, please click on this link. Thank you!

You can give online through Go To Nations, my missions agency, at

www.gotonations.org/ortega

By check or money order:

Payable to Go To Nations (write M461 on the memo field)

Mail to Go To Nations

P.O. Box 10305

Jacksonville, FL 32247

I’m Going to Disney World!

Yes, ever since I sensed God was telling me to go to Iris Ministries’ Harvest School of Missions in Mozambique, Africa and received the acceptance e-mail, I feel like a young child who’s about to go on her dream vacation with princesses and princes. Except this dream trip is taking me to a place that is not frequented by tourist and doesn’t have 5-star hotels with caviar and other fine delicacies. Instead, I’m going to a place where showers are a limited, food always consists of rice and beans, and creatures that I’ve never seen in my life before will confront me! The one thing that these two places have in common is that the people there are princesses and princes. This is my dream come true because I know this is the place where God will teach me, through His children there, what love looks like. This is the place where He will show Himself to me in a greater way so that I can love like He loves.

You can join me on this love adventure through your prayers and financial partnership.

Here’s how you can join:

-Pray for the opportunities God will give me to love like He loves, for divine health and safe travels.

-You can give online through Go To Nations, my missions agency, at

www.gotonations.org/ortega

-You can give by check or money order:

Payable to Go To Nations (write M461 on the memo field)

Mail to Go To Nations

P.O. Box 10305

Jacksonville, FL 32247

My Reward

The thirty-day countdown to leave my family to return to Thailand starts tomorrow. It’s painful to know that I’ll have to say good-bye for about a year and a half to those I love dearly, especially when my 7-year-old sister cries when I make domestic trips thinking that I’m never coming back. It’s during times like this that God reminds me of my destiny. 

He whispers in my ear through every spectacular sunrise and sunset that I witness that He is so much bigger than anything I will ever face in this life.  He reminds me that He loves my family more than I could ever love them and that He knows how to take good care of them. He also brings amazing leaders in my life like Sandra Kuehn to pave the way for other missionaries like me. 

With Sandra Kuehn-GTN Regional Director of South East Asia

I am a blessed woman because I have many women of faith like her who are genuine and transparent. God takes care of every detail of my life because He loves me and because He wants me to bring to Him His lost sons and daughters. As my reward for saying yes to His will I get to see many lives transformed by His amazing love. 

Frame hanging in Sandra's home :)

My New Name

Those of you who know me well know that I actually go by two names, Yolanda, my real name, and Jenny, my nickname. Jenny is my nickname because that was my mom’s original choice of name for me but then decided to name me after my beautiful grandmother. But a new friend has recently given me a new name. I was introduced to little Anabella as Yolanda and minutes after that she started calling me Lucinda. She used those two names interchangeably and it was the cutest thing to hear her sweet little voice say those names. We had an immediate connection and I played with her for most of the day. We had fun together. The interesting thing about the name Lucinda is the meaning. This name means illuminator or bringer of light. In a very unique way, little Anabella was declaring my destiny and life’s purpose which is to bring the Light of Jesus Christ into the darkest corners of the earth.

The Invitation to Dream Big

Dreaming big can be a scary thing to do. Sometimes the scariest part of the process is taking the giant leap of faith and crossing through the threshold. But somehow all the fear flees when we realize that the same God who invites us to dream big with Him is the same God who actually puts those dreams in us and has already placed all things in place for this dream to come to pass. Our only requirement is an abiding faith that is evident by our actions and declarations even before we see anything happening in the natural realm.

This year my Daddy has beckoned me to sit on His lap, lean on His chest and hear His heartbeat. As I listen to the melody of His heartbeat I am reminded that I have been invited to dream big and that I’m safe with Him. I have been invited to learn what it means to love like He loves and I’ll be going to the Harvest School of Missions in Mozambique, Africa from October to December 2014. I don’t have all the details figured out yet but that’s part of the adventure God is calling me to delight in with Him!

Discovering True Love

The week of Valentine’s me and a couple of missionary friends prepared some special gifts for the women working at a massage parlor. We wanted to give out some Valentine’s Day cards, rice-crispy treats, brownies, and a painting I did for them. The night was a success because they loved everything we brought to them. One lady even read the Valentine’s Day card out loud and was reading a scripture from 1 Corinthians 13.

Making a painting for them was something that was in my heart but I honestly wondered if I could start and finish in one day. I asked for divine help and prayed while working on it because I knew it would be something that would speak to the women there. It took me about 5 hours to complete it. The painting has Thai scripture, 1 Corinthians 13 & John 3, glued to the canvas, acrylic paint, and gold leaf. The painting also has the Thai word for love. For me, this painting is a prophetic declaration that they will one day discover and experience true love and as a result their hearts will be transformed into the likeness of their Creator. The painting was placed in the make-up/smoking room the night we took it to them. Since then, the painting has been temporarily placed in the storage room due to an upcoming holiday in Thailand. I’m praying and believing that when this painting is placed in that room it will continue to bring life in ways that I can’t fully see or understand. I’m excited to see how our relationship with these women will go deeper in the coming months!

What Does Light Invading Darkness Look Like?

For three nights I was blessed to lead a group of young women with YWAM out to the bar area to pray in our spirits as we built relationships with the women working there. We split into two groups and went to two different bars to connect with the women. At the bar I was at, the bar owner was happy we were there and even encouraged us to go again. As we were there I found out that there were a couple of new girls working there and they didn't talk as much with us. We still tried to make conversation with them and attempted to talk in Thai. While there, my eyes were opened to the fact that not only are the women there in bondage but men like the bar owner are in a state of despair.

On the last night I was with the visiting team of young ladies, we went back to the same bars we targeted to bring smiles to the faces of many women. We had some flowers for them with a special note. Some had a confused look on their faces when a flower was handed to them but regardless of their emotions, they all smiled at us even the ones that were very quiet the first few nights. The bar owner was touched by our act of love for women working at his bar. The last place we went to was the most impacting to me. We went to a massage parlor that is normally very strict with who goes in. We still tried anyway and had some flowers as a reason to being there. To make a long story short, it was a surreal moment for me as I, unknowingly, talked to the manager about giving the flowers to the women. He allowed us to go behind the display where the women were waiting to be picked by the number on their clothing to give them the flowers personally! Not being too conversational in Thai yet, boldness overpowered me to talk with the women and share about why we were there. From the inside looking out, the women can only see their reflection and can’t see who’s on the other side looking at them. We gave out all the flowers and noticed how some were very excited to get their flowers and some didn’t seem too impressed. Before we left a friend of mine who lives here asked the manager if we could keep coming back to bless the women and he reluctantly said yes.

By the end of the night I was left in awe at how God gave us divine favor to go into some of the darkest places to be His light and leave seeds of hope planted in the hearts of men and women. I am one who believes that no matter how dark the night may be, even one flicker of light expels darkness!

A Glorious Christmas Eve

This year I spent my Christmas Eve doing something different. I went to orphanages, children homes and a local hospital with other missionaries to sing Christmas carols, bring gifts, and pray for the sick. I felt God’s great pleasure when I was able to connect with children, patients and their families. They were very thankful to have people there and some came to us to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Salvation is a free gift and the Giver gave everything so that He could reunite with His creation for eternity. This Christmas Eve some people were bold enough to say yes to the free gift of salvation.

Witnessing the Fury of a Typhoon

On Friday, November 8 the Philippines witnessed the fury of typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda).  The typhoon hardly did any damage in Iloilo City where I’m visiting but the eye of the storm hit approximately 60 miles away and major damage started only about 30 miles from Iloilo City. So far government officials estimate up to 10,000 casualties. Because the area I was in was not affected, it’s so hard for me to wrap my mind around the devastation just a few miles from me. But the evidence of the destruction of this typhoon is everywhere and we cannot turn our eyes from those hurting. Hearing the stories of families that were affected breaks my heart and it compels me to do something.

As I was helping a local church here pack relief bags with some food, candles and matches I wondered how long those goods would last them. But I thought, “Even if it only last them 3 or 4 days, showing them that someone loves them makes an impact in their lives!”

Desiree Patricio, director of the Sonshine Center, recently wrote about a couple of ladies who survived the typhoon:

These 2 girls came to our church in desperation, asking for help for their island Bitoon in Northern Panay. The island was completely washed out, all the houses were completely damaged. Only one boat survived thus they were able to cross the island and seek help. They really need food and water. One of them said the people in the island survived on coconuts. Just hearing them talk about their experience is really heartbreaking. We need all the help we can get to help rebuild their lives and their homes.

Click here to sow a seed of love.

I go to the bar for more than just a drink!

I look forward to my Wednesday nights because that’s usually when I go to the bar with a few friends of mine. Our main reason for going is not to sit in and inhale secondhand smoke or get alcoholic beverages (we only drink water, orange juice or Sprite in case you were wondering) but to sit and listen to the hearts of the ladies working there. There’s nothing different about them, they have longings and desires just like any other human being. I love hearing them talk about their daily activities and the things they love to do such as going to workout, going swimming, preferring sleep over exercise and even seeing their eyes sparkle when they talk about a guy they like that is no longer with them. The people that normally look at them usually think that they are worthless or that they are only good for a night. But I see them and I see beautiful women that are working there for different reasons and difficult situations. The hardest part of my visits is definitely when I have to witness a customer walk in to pick the girl he wants to spend a few hours with. I intercede for the girl that gets picked while continuing to spend time with the other girls there. God has so much more for them and I want to continue to sow seeds of life in them for as long as I can. 

Lover of Interruptions

Lately I find myself anticipating God’s interruptions because they bring great delight to my soul. The only way I can describe this feeling is being like a 5-year-old girl who is waiting for her daddy to come home from work with her favorite ice cream. It doesn’t matter what the young girl is doing when her father finally arrives because she will run to the door to give him a great big bear hug. Then she will proceed to ask him for her ice cream of course, but that time spent with him as they enjoyed their ice cream and laughed uncontrollably will encourage her to dream about her daddy’s next surprise arrival.

I love it when He shows up in unexpected ways. A few weeks ago He showed Himself in the form of a little tribal boy. I was rushing to get back to the van because my team and I were getting ready to leave the tribal area when the little boy approached me. He was so cute and the van leaving me wasn’t as important as stopping to spend time with him. I spent a few minutes with him and gave him an orange before I left. In the natural, nothing extraordinary happened but my heart was full of joy because I was blessed by a heavenly scheduled interruption.     

Leading with His Grace

During the month of May I was able to assist my missionary leaders, Ariel and Paz Acuna, with a team from Christ for the Nations Institute. From the get go we all had so many obstacles to overcome but we all persevered and were able to reap a harvest. Many of the students from CFNI were experiencing their first missions trip and I was also learning to lead a team. With many of us being so inexperienced, we were able to be carried by God’s grace.  I personally was pushed out of my comfort zone when my leaders told me, “ Yolanda, you and Carl, another missionary, will help lead the team to get their visas for Laos and then cross the border.” I was helping them do something I had never done before, and I was going to lead them to a country where you cannot preach the Gospel freely. I knew God would make a way for us to cross the border safely but we all were completely depending on the grace of God to do what we were there to do. The students were able to share the Gospel at a school and many children accepted the Lord.

Over the course of the entire trip, God’s grace was sufficient for us and we witnessed many miracles. We were able to minister to a total of 5,478 people and 4,726 people accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior! I was left in awe to see how God still moved and did wonderful things even though many of us were inexperienced. 

THE MAN WHO WALKED!!!

Universities and English Camps

House of Mercy Orphanage (Children with HIV)

Market in Khon Kaen, Thailand

The Monk Who Became a Follower of Christ!